March 17, 2008...10:11 pm

To say hello

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I often wonder why I feel so sensitive, maybe it is because I prefer not to stir the pot as it were. Sure sometimes it can be slightly entertaining but there is a deep scar that reminds me how much I want to be accepted and a even deeper wound that has never healed that can only be healed by presenting myself as genuinely as possible and allowing myself to give trust and give love. I have been thinking a lot lately, probably because I am feeling slightly out of place, I have entered into a new herd of truly wonderful individuals feeling a little under qualified… not in skills, experience or talents, yet in being “acceptable”. I feel I am a pretty neutral person… yet just saying hello… or hey want to grab lunch together is eh… frightening sometimes… I haven’t really completely settled in, eh… anywhere. Yet, I feel that this is the perfect time in my life to try and convince myself not to associate for lack of a better word rejection and arm it like a weapon that ends up doing more damage that gives me time to learn from. Never the less I hope that as a people we can better see ourselves honestly and present that truly to one another, maybe one day even without fear.

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