Yet, I have moved over to using blogger more frequently. For those who can convience me I am entering into the darkside I will entertain your arguements. Otherwise you can visit my blog at http://genuineexistence.blogspot.com/
March 17, 2008
To say hello
I often wonder why I feel so sensitive, maybe it is because I prefer not to stir the pot as it were. Sure sometimes it can be slightly entertaining but there is a deep scar that reminds me how much I want to be accepted and a even deeper wound that has never healed that can only be healed by presenting myself as genuinely as possible and allowing myself to give trust and give love. I have been thinking a lot lately, probably because I am feeling slightly out of place, I have entered into a new herd of truly wonderful individuals feeling a little under qualified… not in skills, experience or talents, yet in being “acceptable”. I feel I am a pretty neutral person… yet just saying hello… or hey want to grab lunch together is eh… frightening sometimes… I haven’t really completely settled in, eh… anywhere. Yet, I feel that this is the perfect time in my life to try and convince myself not to associate for lack of a better word rejection and arm it like a weapon that ends up doing more damage that gives me time to learn from. Never the less I hope that as a people we can better see ourselves honestly and present that truly to one another, maybe one day even without fear.
February 22, 2008
I totally agree…
When it comes to training and even just being with my horse I am constantly challenged in this “lack” of straight forward communication Cody and I find ourselves in. Working with horses most of my life, including teaching lessons, and doing a little bit of performance I realize that if we were truly to look at ourselves most of our “problem” horses are truly a matter of a problem horseperson some where in the history of that horse.
I have to say that this article titled “Wanted Compassionate Rider” sums up a lot of what I think we as partners to our horses should take very seriously.
February 19, 2008
Interfaith causes fear?
In my indeed orange juice commercial you would find a family that is excited to hear that little Tommy has just gotten back from Interfatih camp where he had so much fun that good old Dad even wants to volunteer and Mom has decided to be the chair of the program committee.
Yet in the real world which we are faced with some very real obstacles. Lets get to the very core of this, everything must be built from the GROUND up. Which means brainstorming, a lot of talk, note taking, building relationships and so on… my point is if we as a nation could truly wake up and take off the filters that make some races look like enemies and others look like heroes, take off the blinders that let us keep buying our expensive coach bags, and 300 horsepower money pitts we might be able to see that, we actually can make a difference as a individual. How does not “investing” your cold hard earned cash into something other than dust collecting crap save the world?
This is how…
We being those who have noticed the war, global warming, racism, and just general fear of our fellow neighbor read on…
If you are a person that doesn’t mind sharing your air with someone of a different race, religion, background or color hair then I applaud you. Unfortunately we have allowed ourselves, and our children to be programmed into believing- If you are like me then you must be good, if you are not like me then you must be bad. Simple enough? Don’t believe it? Think about it every core belief we hold has become sensitive personal, and harsh emotions and sometimes reactions are often too easily provoked. For me it has been something as simple as someone telling me I haven’t trained my dog right.
Yet, here it is a ground shaking new idea. Gathering children of different faiths and put them together so that they can better grow in their own spiritual path along with educating others about their faith and learning about their new friends faith. Sound simple enough… yet for a parent to send their child to this kind of camp there has been this truly looming fear of what ifs…
Here is a tid bit of news when the first ever Puget Sound Interfaith camp was held. This August will be the third camp, I encourage you all to check out their website at Puget Sound Interfaith Youth Camp!
February 19, 2008
New chapter!
I am in a fantastic mood, and for very good reason. Today I am mentally preparing myself for a long awaited and well deserved clean canvass start!
Isn’t it exciting to begin a new chapter.
Yet… what exactly do I mean about a new chapter? What I mean is precisely this… so you have gotten into the rat race of the every day and you have even at times been convinced whether by someone or yourself based on a mile long list of reasons that you CAN’T get out! The classic I am in a comfortable suffering… That was me… I had my own business, working from home, yeah I hear you sound delightful doesn’t it? Yet, in all honesty I was lonely, I truly was wearing too many hats and really needed to think about hiring on someone so I could focus, I was all over the place trying to do 100% with at least three people’s full time work loads, and then not ever truly being able to walk away from it really was eating at me at some strange way. Then I went to the all mighty powerful and eh well lets say at the moment un organized computer software giant I am leaving un named yet lets say I will give you a hint I worked in Redmond Washington and I was looked down upon for owning a crackberry. That whole short experience was a nightmare… If I ever feel I have the energy or feel I have tons of time to waste maybe I will write about it but lets just say that was an experience that really did make me physically ill… for two weeks!!
So, after that experience I was a left with a “So… Now what!?” Feeling. Okay, I am a sensitive creature, and the whole experience, along with being ill made me do a lot of checking myself out in the mirror, under a microscope, doing the full brain scan, evaluating my skills, thoughts, ideas, hopes, dreams, and I found myself overloaded with a renewed sense of “What am I doing with my life.” Now, you would think at my age I wouldn’t have had too many of these yet epiphanies, but in some ways I feel fortunate enough to have thought about it as much as I have, as I take my life decisions VERY seriously.
Okay, so I didn’t want to feel as if I wasn’t giving 100%+ towards opening up new doors for me, so I signed up for every career, monster under your bed job finder that I could make an account and have to remember another password I could find. Truly… nothing more than junk… and some good old fashioned entertainment, jobs that pay $11 dollars an hour yet want a BA in business… yeah keep dreaming! In addition to the online hunting, networking, giving my resume out to who ever would take it, I got in touch with a company called Business Careers in Renton. Truly that was an experience I hope all people that are in the business world that are looking for a new path in life, I really hope they get to have that personally enriching experience with one of their staff. I primarily worked with Lorri until Lindsay came on board, we instantly clicked and I think after a few weeks I will probably have a new best friend. Just that simple, they built a relationship with me, found out who I truly was and I don’t hesitate in saying that they truly were my campaign managers in advertising me to what they felt would be the best fitting position out there.
So while Lindsay and Lorri were busy working on leads, I TRIED to keep myself focused and ready to take on any interview that came my way. I spent time brushing up on skills that were on my resume, reading interview tips and well basically keeping my mind a finely tuned machine. I also kept fueling my fire, worked on healing pieces of me that were damaged over the last few major adventures and found some deeper definitions from myself on what I wanted and how I wanted to direct my next chapter of my life.
In a few weeks time, I had found a interfaith middle school camp that I feel in love with and have become involved in the planning, and have developed a passion and a soap box speech for that matter promoting the camp and it’s philosophy. Gotten involved in my church’s stewardship campaign, looked into gyms and well spent a lot of time with my animals.
Okay… so I have rambled on and on and I don’t have any more time to spend blabbering, that that is for today. Yet, I am excited to write more on this new chapter, and I am really excited to share this transformation and journey!
February 8, 2008
Priceless investment
When say investment what do you think of?
For me the first of course is $$$ investment, then time… everything that you truly want to work or be successful takes time. Then planning, which is time, yet it is organized, educated and planning means you are willing to take action and follow your time, money, education and planning into action.
If you follow the horse world at all, then you should have heard of Stacey Westfall. A woman that truly goes beyond the typical reining training. In fact her videos have been forwarded to me so many times that I thought I should do my own part and post her video here.
She is a woman that has blown away many at the sport of Reining, reining is an intense sport that requires a very agile, and fit rider, not to mention a rider with TONS of time, dedication and passion for the sport as in any serious equine event reining is one that is mastered truly by the patient. Many find themselves at the professional level with less that desired tactics of getting there, using training methods to recieve results rather than build communication and a relationship… think that sounds sappy? Or silly? Well for all you hard core rough em up train em till they sweat sort of people… I doubt that your relationship with your horse has even dreamed of this level of confidence, trust and joy!
Enjoy!
February 3, 2008
Seattle Human Rights Film Festival
Seattle Human rights Film Festival February 13th-17th
Amnesty International Puget Sound proudly presents the 16th annual Seattle Human Rights Film Festival, which begins with an Opening Night at Cinerama on February 13th and continues at Northwest Film Forum in Capitol Hill, February 15th to 17th. With our theme of Justice Without Borders, this year’s festival includes a total of 10 short and feature-length films dealing with a variety of issues, including International Human Rights and Violence Against Women. Discussions with filmmakers and activists will follow screenings.
Amnesty International touched my heart when I was in high school. They are an organization that encourages people to come together with a collected compassion, and awareness that are ready to push for change.
February 3, 2008
Yes we can?!
This year, I am nervous about our presidential race. Yet, I have to say in the first time in a long time here is a candidate that is truly bringing people together. A person that wants to prove we need to come together as a nation. Well… sounds beautiful, yet is is possible? There is so much to do, and I think any person that gets into the oval office is going to spend a lot of time in the beginning of their term doing a long of “monkey work” cleaning up the mess, the clutter, confusion, frustration and well not to mention the heart break they will have sitting before them when they arrive. I think Obama is strong enough, has the support yet I am still wondering, still thinking and truly hoping that Obama’s vision of uniting us back together is one that we are all willing to accomplish. He can’t do it is on his own, yet I do believe that if we as a nation agree to have change that “Yes, we can” have the change we are so hungry for in so many ways.
February 3, 2008
Contemplate their words
Here are a few of my favorite quotes I find inspirational, challenging and exciting. As these quotes capture what I struggle to express.
“A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.”"What lies behind us and
what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”
“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.”
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.”"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction.”"Imagination is more important than knowledge.”"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.”
“Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations. “
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
“Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.”
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
“It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.”
“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it. “
Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
Those are just a few… enjoy them and feel free to share your own favorites.
